Week 10

Well, I'm a little behind in my blogging. Actually, I haven't had much to say. Since I stopped working, my life has been sleeping and watching TV. Not very exciting. A few bad days here and there, with nausea (but no vomiting). Mostly, just fatigue and very low energy. Also, I have been isolating a bit, not wanting to talk much just generally not wanting to be the person with cancer, going through chemo. I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about.

I've been getting acupuncture on a weekly basis, which has helped a little with the fatigue, but mostly with the accompanying "fogginess." Weekly massage therapy is really helping with all of the aches and pains from all of the sleeping.

I'm almost done with the AC, only 2 more treatments to go. That also means I go back to work soon. As I recall, I had 2 goals, well 3 really while I was off work: clean out the garage, unpack the 2nd bedroom and catch up on some work that I owe my boss so that I go back to work without owing any hours. So far I've done is the garage. I've done a little bit of work, but I don't know that I will get it all made up before September 15 (return to work day) and I haven't touched the 2nd bedroom, but it's on my list for today.

What really prompted me to work on the garage was that I got a dog this past week. I found her at the humane society and she is very sweet. Her name is Zusa and she's an 8 year old golden retriever mix.



That's it for now. I hope you all are hanging in there.

Chemo week 2

It's almost time for my next chemo infusion. In terms of nausea, I just haven't had any and I'm extremely grateful about that. My infusions are a little off right now though. My first infusion was on a Thursday, last week was on Friday and this week it's Thursday again, and next week will go back to Friday. So, it will be interesting to see what happens after 6 days instead of 8 days. 

Unfortunately, there was an "incident" on Friday when I went in for the second infusion. When I got into the room and into the chair, the nurse "reminded" me that I was to start on iron sucrose that day, and that the infusion time would take an extra hour. This was news to me! No one had called me about adding extra medication to my treatment. When I questioned her about it, she said I should have heard from the oncology pharmacist or the oncology nurse. She showed me the order, which was written the day before and no one had called me. The other issue was time. I'm in a carpool and had to leave by 4:30. Granted, it's just a carpool with my sister, but it would be very unfair for me to ask her to stay later at work, and adding that she's 8 1/2 months pregnant just made it worse. So, I told the nurse that I would not be getting the iron sucrose that day. I also told her that I wouldn't be starting anything new until someone called me about this medication. I also said that if I couldn't change my appointment times for the next 2 weeks, I wouldn't be starting this medication until July 18, after my sister goes on maternity leave and I start driving or taking the bus.

This kind of thing just really pisses me off! As if I have nothing better to do with my time but sit around at their convenience. I was talking to my friend about it and she had similar issues when she was undergoing radiation therapy in that every day when she got to the clinic they were running an hour behind. She was angry all the time about going in for treatment, and that's how I was feeling on Friday. I don't want to be angry when I'm getting my treatments! That isn't going to do me any good.

I think cancer patients are in a very vulnerable position and in large part have no choice but to cater to the "whim" of the treatment center. Whether they are running late or want to give a new medicine or whatever! I mean, what are we going to do, walk out? Not too likely to happen. 

Monday morning I made a call to the scheduler and was able to re-schedule my times for this week and next week. Also, the pharmacist called me, apologized, and explained why she wants me on the iron sucrose. I don't have any problem with them making changes to my medications, adding or subtracting, or whatever they need to do. All I ask is that they give me the courtesy of a phone call! I will be seeing my oncologist on Thursday and will bring this issue up with her.

Yesterday I noticed a bit of a metallic taste in my mouth and when I was drinking a frappucchino there was a definite bitter aftertaste. This morning I had a cup of coffee and I noticed the same thing. So, I guess for now I will stick to tea and smoothies. I'm not going to be able to get rid of the metallic tasting saliva for the next 6 months, but I don't want to ruin my love of coffee either. 

Today I went to the UWMC cancer center and met with their "beauty and cancer program" coordinator and did find a wig I liked. It's dark red with highlights and reminds me of the years when I used to dye my hair dark red. I need to get it trimmed and styled a bit though. The cool thing is that it's brand new and was free. I also got a scarf and 2 sleeping caps. I ordered several caps from Etsy that are all hand-made. I think they were originally designed for the operating room, but will do very well for me. And, they are really pretty. Here's a picture of one that I ordered:



I still may use my insurance to get another wig. I haven't decided yet. I've got the coverage and the prescription, so I should just do it. Between all of that and the things that MJ over on LJ is sending me, I should be in pretty good shape.

Yesterday I had a massage with a new therapist who is actually on my insurance. She is very wonderful and I'm going to really like her a lot. I learned some interesting things as to why my feet are hurting so bad. I've always been a believer and had an interest in foot reflexology, but I haven't looked at a chart in a very long time. Well the two places on my feet, one spot on the left and one on the right that hurt the most, correlate directly with breast cancer. The spot on my left foot corresponds to the right breast and the spot on my right food corresponds to the lymphatic system. I set up weekly appointments and will be spending a lot of time having my feet worked on! I also realized just how "nice" my body is being to me right now. There are some definite tight areas that I discovered yesterday, especially in my upper back, but I haven't had any pain. It will be good to get these worked out over the next few weeks and get back on a regular massage schedule.

I want to hire a personal trainer to work with me while I'm doing the chemo and after. I will talk to my oncologist about that, but I think it's a good idea. I want to find someone who has experience working with cancer patients and who (hopefully) isn't associated with a big gym. I need to call the breast cancer resource center in Tacoma and see if they know anyone.

I was thumbing through the Puget Sound Wellness Guide yesterday and ran across the BRCA story of someone I used to work with when I was at Madigan. I have never met her, but we used to collaborate on some projects together via phone and email. She works for the UW, so I sent her an email yesterday.

This weekend I'm kind of thinking of going to check out the Tall Ships, but I'm not sure I want to deal with the crowd. I don't really have any plans for the weekend except a BBQ on Friday with my sister and brother-in-law; and a party at my friend's house on Saturday. I think it will be a nice quiet weekend and hopefully not too hot!

too much information in my brain - massages - sick kitty

I suppose it's normal to go through bouts of depression... I don't know if I feel depressed so much as overwhelmed. There are just so many decisions to make about the profound impact this disease will have on the rest of my life. I am doing my best to keep all of these thoughts in the back of my mind, since I can't make any decisions now. If I let them consume me, I might as well just stay in bed all day.

I have noticed that I've been very forgetful. I forget to clean the cat box, I forget things people say to me. I forget to write down questions to ask the doctors. It's just too much sometimes.

At the moment, I feel like my head is going to explode. I haven't had headaches in so long and I just hate feeling this way. I will see my chiropractor this afternoon and she will help immensely. I also must remember (somehow) to ask her for a referral to a massage therapist who will be on my new insurance and is in Tacoma. It will be too hard to see my therapist in Olympia after I move.

I think I'm also going to see another massage therapist in Tacoma who I know of who does not work with insurance, but her rates are really good and I could get some extra tension-reducing massages.

I woke up at 2:30 this morning to my kitty, Mea, sneezing up a storm. You know cats aren't feeling well when they just lay there and let you pet them and don't purr. I gave her some antibiotics and I think I have enough for a 10 day course. Hopefully she will be feeling better soon.