well that sucked

Spending the morning puking up breakfast is no fun. My body was not happy with the juice I made and yesterday I suffered for it. I was feeling pretty miserable even after I was done throwing up, but I had a doctor's appointment in Olympia and was determined to keep it. I actually felt worse in terms of nausea at the end of the day and never felt like my stomach completely emptied out. This morning, I'm better and just trying to take it easy. I wasn't sure earlier when my alarm went off at 5:00 that I was going to make it to work. But, I've called my boss and said I'd be in by noon.

I put on a scarf to go to my appointment. It just feels so funny.. I can't tell if it's going to fall off or what. I took it off at the end of my appointment to show my doctor how I looked with a shaved head. She recommended leaving it off and I agreed. At least for the rest of the day. I don't know that I will go to work without something on my head. The buff I wore on Saturday worked pretty well.. maybe one of those. Plus, the thought of being on the bus and putting my bare head against the seat is super disgusting. And I know it will happen because I always sleep on the bus.

Today I'm driving for 2 reasons.. the bus stops running at 9:30 and my sister is due to go into labor any second now. She spent the night in the hospital and they've started inducing her. I need to be able to leave when she's closer to giving birth.

Yesterday morning before I drank the juice and all the puking started, I heard Mea rearranging the runner in the hallway. She was very, very proud of her handiwork:

too much information in my brain - massages - sick kitty

I suppose it's normal to go through bouts of depression... I don't know if I feel depressed so much as overwhelmed. There are just so many decisions to make about the profound impact this disease will have on the rest of my life. I am doing my best to keep all of these thoughts in the back of my mind, since I can't make any decisions now. If I let them consume me, I might as well just stay in bed all day.

I have noticed that I've been very forgetful. I forget to clean the cat box, I forget things people say to me. I forget to write down questions to ask the doctors. It's just too much sometimes.

At the moment, I feel like my head is going to explode. I haven't had headaches in so long and I just hate feeling this way. I will see my chiropractor this afternoon and she will help immensely. I also must remember (somehow) to ask her for a referral to a massage therapist who will be on my new insurance and is in Tacoma. It will be too hard to see my therapist in Olympia after I move.

I think I'm also going to see another massage therapist in Tacoma who I know of who does not work with insurance, but her rates are really good and I could get some extra tension-reducing massages.

I woke up at 2:30 this morning to my kitty, Mea, sneezing up a storm. You know cats aren't feeling well when they just lay there and let you pet them and don't purr. I gave her some antibiotics and I think I have enough for a 10 day course. Hopefully she will be feeling better soon.