In Limbo

It's been 7 days since my diagnosis. I am feeling almost ambivalent about it so far this week. Maybe it's because I'm busy with packing and getting ready to move that it's just not at the forefront of my mind 100% of the time like it was last week. Oh, I'm still thinking about upcoming appointments.. an MRI on Thursday and I need to schedule a 2nd surgical opinion. I'm waiting until after the MRI for that one though. Plus my doctor hasn't sent the referral yet. I have appointments lined up this entire week with the chiropractor tomorrow and acupuncture on Wednesday

In the meantime, I am packing up the house again (I just moved in October). I am relieved to have finally received word today that I will get the house I want to rent, across the street from my sister. One of these days, I must really settle down and actually buy a house! This house is great though, with an already dug garden in the back and flower beds in the front. I can't wait to get my hands back in the dirt. The kitchen is very 60's with avacado appliances and counter tops and a bright green and white linoleum floor. I'm hoping to lighten up the wood cupboards a little bit and change the knobs.

I had an appointment with my therapist today. I'm so glad I will be changing insurance in April, going from 12 visits a year to 50. She pointed out that the last 5 months have been quite eventful in my life... my divorce was finalized; my supervisor/co-worker left, making me the most senior (although not a supervisor) employee assigned to MAMC; I accepted a great new job offer at the UW; I'm moving; and I have been diagnosed with breast CA. I mean, WOW. She told me about a study that assigned points to certain stressors/major events in one's life and once 100 points is reached, one becomes more susceptible to infectious diseases (colds, flu, etc.). I'm way over 100, but I feel very calm about everything.

Everything about this job and this move just feels right. I can't explain it except it's a gut feeling. I am completely at peace about it. For some reason, the Universe has thrown this "little" wrench into things. I don't know why. But I have a strong feeling that I need to be working at the UW and fighting breast CA at the same time. Something is supposed to happen, and I'm excited about finding out what it is. Also, my new boss is very supportive of me. She is willing to not only hire me at the beginning of this journey, but give me whatever I need in order to deal with my medical issues. She has offered 50% working time (minimum required to keep the benefits), working from home and as flexible a schedule as I need. I'd be crazy not to take the job!

Back to packing for a little bit and then to bed.